What would she think of my falling in love with another woman? I knew, deep down, that she would be happy for me. I also knew that I would never forget the memories that were made with Sandy.A long time ago, I had started the practice of journaling. Most of those special times, with Sandy, were written down in my journal. At any time, I could go to my journal and refresh those old memories. They were so precious to me. I did not ever want to forget those treasured experiences.How would the scenario be different, if I had been the one who had died? Would I have wanted Sandy to love another? That is something that I really had to struggle with. Of course, I would want her to be happy. But would I want her to make love to another man? The selfish part of me wanted to be loved and remembered. If I were dying of a slow developing disease, I knew I would think of Sandy eventually loving another man. I could see all kinds of ugly scenarios rushing through my mind. I guess it was a weak part. Otherwise it was hit or miss. One Thursday morning Jay came back to the room and wanted to talk. I had a class and told him we would meet for lunch. He said he wanted to have lunch in the dorm’s kitchen area. I met him a couple minutes after noon. “Jack had Helen over last night,” Jay said. “I tried both of the lounges but they were too noisy to sleep. Finally I decided to take a shower and reassess my options. Janice and Drew were in the shower playing with each other, so I took the other shower.” I nodded and said something inconsequential to let Jay know I was listening, without interrupting his story. Jay continued. “Janice asked me to join them, so I did. One thing led to another and we wound up in Drew’s room. As Dr. Wagoner says, the arousal took on a life of its own. I wound up fucking Janice while we took turns sucking Drew’s cock. Valerie and I fuck other people regularly with no repercussions, but I feel like I’ve been unfaithful to you.” I didn’t care who was around. I.
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